My mom...the total babe.
I look down at my hands and I see her hands.
Long fingers with big knuckles and red nails.
Before they were her hands,
they were my Grandma's hands
and now they are mine.
They are strong hands.
For raising babies and cleaning houses.
For holding on and fighting back.
and take in their smallness.
Every single time I do that,
I remember what it was like to be the little "C".
to be wrapped in her,
to take in the smell of her Crest toothpaste.
We're wearing matching pants.
The one who works 2 jobs
so her little girl can have everything
and a private school education to boot.
When she remarried and had my brother,
like my dad and brother
had been waiting in the wings all along.
The Cesena's were written in the stars,
it just took awhile to get there.
She's super pregnant here. And still a babe.
Always my friend
but first my mom,
she is the one who took me to the Clinique counter
for my first make-up lesson
and tried to school me on birth control.
She grounded me for
a zillion years
and I broke her heart
a thousand times.
Mother/daughter relationships are hard.
For so long I wanted her to leave me to my mistakes
but to pick up the pieces when I was hurting.
It was an awkward dance and it lasted
a very long time.
But we never stopped talking.
Even when it was through clenched teeth.
We no longer speak rough words
through tight mouths.
Thank you for never giving up on me Mom.
Even when I was heinous
just kept on comin'.
for teaching me how to be a lioness.