Friday, February 14, 2014

Steady Love

Last night we were working
on a homework project,
Lucas and I at the kitchen table,
James singing to himself in the living room,
Paul gone to work,
when Lucas blurted out,
"Mom, my dad is so sweet to you.
You have no idea how much he loves you."

And I knew in my heart
that he was right.
Like a love letter from the universe,
true words from the mouth of a babe.


Fourteen years ago
Paul was my very 1st real Valentine.

We were seniors in high school
and had been on a few dates.

He had only just kissed me
a few days before.

A painfully delayed occurance
that had me telling my parents
that maybe he didn't like me.

He had paged me
yeah kids we didn't always have cell phones
"Happy Valentine's Day"
early that morning
but said nothing more.

I remember driving home from school
jealously eyeing
the balloons and roses
that seemed to be riding shotgun
in every other girl's car.

That boy ended up
surprising me hours later,
coming to my house
bearing gifts of flowers
and clothes his sister
had helped him pick out,
a cd he'd burned
 and a card.

He drove me to Powder Puff practice
and I never made it out of the car.
Make Out Party '00!
I rushed onto the field at the end
and pretended I'd been there the entire time
while my dad (the coach)
looked at me sideways.

There is nothing
like your first sweet love.


This morning I walked into my office
and came upon a simple bouquet of flowers
and a card.

Paul had stopped by
on his way home from work
and arranged them on my desk.

I really, truly was not expecting
anything like that.

And you know what,
that's just like him.
He of the
quiet, simple, gentle love.

What's the word?


What do you call
the girl who loved the boy,
lived a lifetime
and then became
the woman who loves the man?

He nuzzled my neck at Prom
and now we sit next to one another
in our living room,
coffee table littered
with the children's books and toys,
watching "True Detective".

There are a million stories and lessons
between then and now,
but I so adore being here
in this chapter,
with this guy by my side.


What a silly thing
to write you a love note for all to see,
but I must. 

Thank you for being here with me now,
in this life,
with these kids,
and these bills,
and this house,
and these jobs.

Thank you for being a great dad,
for being a great step-dad,
for being both in such a way
that the boy's can't tell the difference.

Thank you for loving me so incredibly,
that I can feel safe,
that I can feel sane,
that I can feel heard.

Thank you for being a better cook than me,
for downloading "I Love Lucy" for me,
for being my co-hort,
my favorite lead adventurer,
the supporter of all my schemes and ideas,
the texter of all things hilarious and/or kitten related.

Happy Valentine's Day
my love.

Thank you for choosing me.

He and I

When words run dry,
he does not try,
nor do I.

We are on par.

He just is,
I just am.
and we just are.

Lang Leav

I've never known
such peace.


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