Steady Love

Last night we were working

on a homework project,

Lucas and I at the kitchen table,

James singing to himself in the living room,

Paul gone to work,

when Lucas blurted out,

"Mom, my dad is so sweet to you.

You have no idea how much he loves you."

And I knew in my heart

that he was right.

Like a love letter from the universe,

true words from the mouth of a babe.

***

Fourteen years ago

Paul was my very 1st real Valentine.

We were seniors in high school

and had been on a few dates.

He had only just kissed me

a few days before.

A painfully delayed occurance

that had me telling my parents

that maybe he didn't like me.

He had paged me

yeah kids we didn't always have cell phones

"Happy Valentine's Day"

early that morning

but said nothing more.

I remember driving home from school

jealously eyeing

the balloons and roses

that seemed to be riding shotgun

in every other girl's car.

That boy ended up

surprising me hours later,

coming to my house

bearing gifts of flowers

and clothes his sister

had helped him pick out,

a cd he'd burned

 and a card.

He drove me to Powder Puff practice

and I never made it out of the car.

Make Out Party '00!

I rushed onto the field at the end

and pretended I'd been there the entire time

while my dad (the coach)

looked at me sideways.

There is nothing

like your first sweet love.

***

This morning I walked into my office

and came upon a simple bouquet of flowers

and a card.

Paul had stopped by

on his way home from work

and arranged them on my desk.

I really, truly was not expecting

anything like that.

And you know what,

that's just like him.

He of the

quiet, simple, gentle love.

What's the word?

Lucky?

Blessed?

Charmed?

What do you call

the girl who loved the boy,

lived a lifetime

and then became

the woman who loves the man?

He nuzzled my neck at Prom

and now we sit next to one another

in our living room,

coffee table littered

with the children's books and toys,

watching "True Detective".

There are a million stories and lessons

between then and now,

but I so adore being here

in this chapter,

with this guy by my side.

Paul,

What a silly thing

to write you a love note for all to see,

but I must. 

Thank you for being here with me now,

in this life,

with these kids,

and these bills,

and this house,

and these jobs.

Thank you for being a great dad,

for being a great step-dad,

for being both in such a way

that the boy's can't tell the difference.

Thank you for loving me so incredibly,

that I can feel safe,

that I can feel sane,

that I can feel heard.

Thank you for being a better cook than me,

for downloading "I Love Lucy" for me,

for being my co-hort,

my favorite lead adventurer,

the supporter of all my schemes and ideas,

the texter of all things hilarious and/or kitten related.

Happy Valentine's Day

my love.

Thank you for choosing me.

He and I

When words run dry,

he does not try,

nor do I.

We are on par.

He just is,

I just am.

and we just are.

Lang Leav

I've never known

such peace.

Christina